Promises, Promises

There are times when I know I have failed. Today is one of those times. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 304. Which, back in January, I would have been thrilled about because it would have meant that I had lost 13 pounds. However, in March I got down to 290. So, once again, the pendulum has swung back in the wrong direction.

It hurts, too, because I can see it as it happens. The trips to the gym start to evaporate. The alcohol begins to flow a little faster. The dinners out occur more frequently.

And then I am back over 300. Great for a first baseman's batting average. Bad for a 32 year old's weight.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the fact that I don't shave often, I continue to wear sweat-ridden tee shirts until the evening, and that my weight is a problem. All of these things I have been churning about in my head frequently for the past couple of weeks since a friend of mine is having marital difficulties because his wife doesn't find him attractive anymore. And I think about Courtney and that most likely, because of these very same reasons, there will come a time--if it hasn't already come--when she will not find me attractive anymore. And so I am struggling with how to adjust my lacksidasical grooming and presentation with the fact that there is someone who I want to be attracted to me.

So...I am promising a few things:

1. I am going to shave more often. At least twice a week. Starting as soon as I find my razor this afternoon.
2. I am going to be back at 290 by my birthday (July 16). At that point, I will reset my next weight-loss goal.
3. I am going to work to look more presentable when we have company over or when we go out in public.

(As an aside to #3, I saw this couple in the Burnsville Mall today and she was dressed nicely, while he was unshaven and was wearing a tee-shirt with cut-off sleeves. He looked like shit.)

We'll see how it goes. I don't want to make too many promises in hopes that I can actually meet those that I do promise.