It hurts, too, because I can see it as it happens. The trips to the gym start to evaporate. The alcohol begins to flow a little faster. The dinners out occur more frequently.
And then I am back over 300. Great for a first baseman's batting average. Bad for a 32 year old's weight.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the fact that I don't shave often, I continue to wear sweat-ridden tee shirts until the evening, and that my weight is a problem. All of these things I have been churning about in my head frequently for the past couple of weeks since a friend of mine is having marital difficulties because his wife doesn't find him attractive anymore. And I think about Courtney and that most likely, because of these very same reasons, there will come a time--if it hasn't already come--when she will not find me attractive anymore. And so I am struggling with how to adjust my lacksidasical grooming and presentation with the fact that there is someone who I want to be attracted to me.
So...I am promising a few things:
- I am going to shave more often. At least twice a week. Starting as soon as I find my razor this afternoon.
- I am going to be back at 290 by my birthday (July 16). At that point, I will reset my next weight-loss goal.
- I am going to work to look more presentable when we have company over or when we go out in public.
We'll see how it goes. I don't want to make too many promises in hopes that I can actually meet those that I do promise.